What the Ocean Remembers: A Novel by Ron Leshem

Author:Ron Leshem [Leshem, Ron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-09-23T16:00:00+00:00

In Praise of Forgetting

18.

I took a sniper course, where I trained on an M24. It turned out I could lie still for fifty minutes like a sphynx, a rock, zero movement. Disciplined, mathematical. So I did well in the tests and they picked me out from all the trigger-happy pains in the ass. The examiner said she saw a quietness in me, a control. Perhaps thanks to all my beach meditations I knew how to breathe, to focus, to live inside myself.

In the telescopic crosshairs I scan the windows, travel across rooftops, doors, rooms, kitchens. I put my cheek against it, take two breaths, connect with the rifle until it is a part of me. The rifle and I unite into one body. I am supple and molten, my matter is cast into it, building us, and then at the right moment I freeze and lock up—steel. Just like when I meditate, I empty out the space of my mind, unplug it and let the thoughts trickle out onto the floor down to the very last drop, and a black cloud of white noise flies out of my ears to the sky. After that I’m completely disconnected, calm, vacant. I won’t lose my cool even if an hour goes by, or two, or eight.

I am a finger. I wait for my chance. I like the routine, it’s therapeutic. Like surfing, I dive into an inner quiet, and then I can control nature. Sit correctly, lie correctly, squeeze correctly.

Cross on the target. Barrell is at two-thirty. I devote some thought to windage. I’m locked in. The rifle won’t move even when I give a little tug and squeeze out one bullet, my miniature rocket, burning through the air. Two breaths and then a tiny motion, life or death. A finger stroking a clitoris and it lights up, burning, and in a fraction of a second the blood flows into the finger like it’s an erect dick, an electricity pole, concrete. Two seconds pass and then—ping. A hit.

A good surfer is a hunter, a sniper. In the sea every split second is critical, every angle is significant. I learn the motions of the air and the wind, and then, when I enter a wave, I disappear. One singular awareness flows through me: maintain kinetic energy, maintain aim, maintain balance, maintain optimism. I catch a wave, focused on nothing else, and all my skills, all my loves, all my passions—are devoted to it. My brain belongs entirely to it. Every wave is unique. No wave will ever be repeated in exactly the same way. I will remember my first one, I will remember a good barrel, probably for the rest of my life. A wave can surprise me like a target, inviting me to conquer it. Surfing is not just an activity I did, it’s something I became. So is a sniper, so is a bullet.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.